Ed, I love you. You are such a good guy and an amazing friend. Part of me gets so excited of the thought of anything with you... and then there is the part that is completely freaked out. When I'm talking with you I play it down a lot. So here is the honest to goodness truth:
Me liking you was something I thought was buried and gone. Probably because it sucked so much when things didn't work out... that whole few months sucked... I got over you. I was okay; enjoying just being your friend. Then when you texted me and there was that tiny glimpse of "maybe" it was like tumbling down a hill covered in snow. It was an invigorating circle that you feel all over. . .then when you land at the bottom, the snow starts to seep into your socks and you start to shiver. . .
Corny analogy, but I'm shivering right now. How many times have we talked about your "perfect woman"? . . . and I can't even tell you how different that woman and I are. I'm 5'2, not athletic, I can be stubborn as hell and crumble into tears at the drop of a hat. You and I can fight. . .and hold grudges.
All that being said, I still love you. I still value as my confidant. I still want to kick your trash at air hockey. . . and I'm ready to be torn up inside. Be selfish myself.
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