I cannot say what Card meant in the above statement, but I recognize its truth. Dreams often are my escape from the terrors of life and often the terrors of possibility that bring me from sleep. Most recently my dreams have returned to nightmares. They are memories that are with me forever, but are recalled in my sleep without invitation. I stopped telling my parents about the nightmares almost as soon as they started and only confided in Scott and a couple times in Ed. . . Scott and I don't talk anymore, and I feel like if I relapse to Ed I will disappoint him.
The anniversary of that day is only a week away and I pray that somehow these dreams are going to make that easier; that they are my safety valve. There must be something brighter than where they take me.
*Ender's Game. New York: Tom Doherty Associates, LLC, 1985
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