Over the last few days I've been thinking about an ex-boyfriend, "Jay". My relationship with him was probably the most detrimental to me emotionally of any that I have had. The reasons are complicated and ones that I'm not ready to post, but all in all there is a lot of fear in regards to him. My thoughts were brought to the forefront of my mind today as I found myself on the road where he lived, at a pool hall, near a bar he frequented. . . I would never place myself anywhere that I knew him to be on purpose, but I have this feeling that sometime, sooner than later, I am going to have that moment where our paths will cross.
I do not believe he will hurt me (any more than he has). I do not believe he will seek me out. I do not believe there will be a confrontation. I believe I will be able to maintain composure until I find a safe place that is suitable for otherwise. It may be nothing more than crossing each other in the street, but it is that waiting for it to happen that haunts me.
... did have a splendid night, but those stories are for another post.
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